Mistake ~ Defective "McDonald's" Plastic Straw ~ Read My Description! - $9,999 (Pembroke, MA)

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I am offering this
Defective
McDonald's Plastic Straw

It is Crimped, And Was Emotionally Devastating for our Daughter

This A One of a Kind Straw (actually there are 2 others that I know of)
This is no ordinary piece of plastic. This is the straw that changed a life.

My youngest daughter was handed this defective, crimped McDonald’s straw by a clerk
at a McDonald's at the Cumberland, RI location.
She was expecting joy. Instead, she received heartbreak. The straw was mangled beyond use.
Crimped in a way that made it utterly useless. No soda. No bubbles. Just betrayal.
Upon receipt of the straw, she immediately began crying hysterically.
And not your run-of-the-mill tantrum.
I’m talking full-scale existential crisis. The parking lot stood still. Birds fell silent. Fries went cold.
We had no other choice. We retained legal counsel.
Our case? "Negligence" & "Cruel and Harsh Punishment."
The evidence? This very straw.
After a prolonged legal battle, McDonald’s Corporation, Transcend Packaging, and Huhtamäki Corp., all settled out of court.
I’m not legally allowed to discuss the number, but let’s just say… my daughter is now set for life.
Private school. Ponies. Custom Barbie Dream Mansions.
She’ll never have to use a straw again.
However, the monies are being held in a “Trust”, so she does have to wait until she turns
18 years of age before she can spend any of it.
And now, the straw…the actual crimped, "Exhibit A", lawsuit-inducing straw can be yours.

The time has come to sell the straw, so that I can get some veterinarian help for our
3-legged, blind in one eye, and can’t see out of the other one, dog named, “Buddy.”
I am also hoping to close out my ebay selling account.

I am asking the low bargain price of $9,999.99
Please note: I will only accept payment using One Dollar bills.
Why?…..Because sometimes... Justice comes in a paper sleeve.

"Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun".

🎼 Grab a bucket and mop….
Scrub the bottom and top…..
There is nothing so clean….
As my burger machine!

With a broom and a brush….
Clean it up for the rush….
Before you open the door,
Put a shine on the floor!

When we've finished, what then?"
Start all over again!

Tell me, what does it mean?
At McDonald's it's clean!
You don’t deserve a Defective Straw today!
So get up and get away!
To McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's! 🎶