I will make your dating profile diggity-dapper. $30

Do you have a dating profile that doesn't get the results you had hoped it would? Do you get ghosted on the regular? Do your messages to matches get little-to-no response? Maybe it's bad luck, maybe it's the uneven playing field… but maybe you also kinda suck at this.

I provide dating consultations that range from fixing up your dating profile to teaching you how to interact with matches in a way that improves response rates, to answering any questions you may have about online dating or dating in general. I got my start on Reddit, where I quickly realized that there was a market for this, and also that I’m pretty darn good at it. Here’s what I offer:

Profile Overhaul: An hour call to fix up your profiles or make a new one - $30

Your photos. I go through them, ruthlessly tell you which ones need to be axed and why- and sometimes I'll even let you keep one or two. We'll talk about what makes these photos bad, and what you need to do differently to look rockin in your new ones. We will talk about good and bad clothing, poses, and camera angles for your body type. We will talk about puppies and where you can steal one for a photo. I even give you photos of myself in the suggested poses for you visual learners out there.

Your bio. We'll work on it together and I'll edit/rewrite it as we chat to make it more attractive to the ladies while still making it distinctly you- at least the parts of you we wanna advertise.
Ladies Galore: An hour lesson on how to get responses- $30
How the hell to talk to girls. How to anticipate what she wants based on clues from her photos and bio. What the heck to do when there's no bio. How to create an initial message that is compelling enough to get her to respond to you.

Once you get a response, how to get her out on a date before she eventually ghosts you. I am the secret-keeper of the female species and I'm just shady enough to sell you our inner-workings.

Twitterpated: An hour call to talk about that girl you like, or how to approach ladies irl - $30

Like someone? Don’t know to figure out if she likes you? I’ve got you, man. We can talk about how most women express interest through body language, touch, and attention… cause we don’t often say it outright. I know, it sucks. We smell nice though.

Don’t know how to approach someone you’re attracted to? Don’t know how to ask out a stranger or acquaintance in a low-risk way? You’ve come to the right place! We can talk strategy with the best places/occasions to ask out women and how to do it in a low-risk way.

Is there a lady in your life that confuses the hell out of you? Don’t get mad, get yourself some Chloe! Men and women often communicate our desires/needs/frustrations in different ways. Let’s talk about it ;)

The Whole Shebang: A two hour call to fix up your profiles and talk about women - $55

If you want a profile overhaul AND to talk to your newfound matches without getting ghosted, this is the package for you. It’s even five dollars cheaper than the individual ones cause I’m thrifty!

Send me a message if you're interested and we can make an appointment. I'm also happy to show you dozens of positive reviews that can be easily traced by to their owners on Facebook or Reddit (so you know I'm no some crazy lady making them up haha).
  • do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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